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Have I found fulfillment in my couple? What are the strengths and weaknesses of my couple?

If God created man and woman, it is so that they could live together. He made us different because there are different points of attraction. These diverging points of view actualize the work of God: each one of these opposing impulses is a piece of the puzzle of the creation of the universe. When we marry, even if we have a certain wisdom, a certain "knowledge", we have absolutely no idea what we are committing to. The main difficulty of the couple is that we have no idea who the other is, given that we don't know who we are ourselves. So it is clear that during the marriage, we will have troubles that we could not foresee, and that will overwhelm us.

It is as a couple that man and woman will find total fulfillment and will reach a certain level of maturity regarding their knowledge: knowledge of themselves, because it is through the other that they will clearly see their own way of being, of assessing, of watching. And what was believed to be kindness is often a false appearance. We do not consider ourselves as good when standing before the other, but we do not accept to see ourselves as we are. Also, most of the time, we consider the other to be accountable for our actions, and therefore of our thoughts and our reactions. This is the first phase of the work of the couple.

In a couple, it is very important to be aware of a kind of judgement, precisely due to the unconsciousness of who the other is. The man will discover someone next to him who he likes physically, and who he believes he loves completely. When he approaches the woman, he will realize that this being, in his view, comes from another planet. They do not at all have the same way of seeing, of thinking, of expressing, even in private moments. And this man who has just made an extraordinary discovery will take months, years and sometimes a lifetime, to discover the being with whom he shares his life.

We must therefore try to understand the difficulties and ambiguities of this couple that will have to work to clear a space in order to start a family. Setting up this home, creating a space in the material, but with a certain state of mind, he will try to have children. We often think that children are going to change our way of thinking about the other, but as soon as the children are there, the ambiguities grow. We will find that their character is a mixture of one and the other, not to mention the physical aspect. They will ask as many questions as we did regarding our companion. Therefore, children will be a permanent reflection of our flaws, of each of our failings, but also of each of our qualities.

That is the dilemma, if we do not have the wisdom to understand that love with a capital "L", as we call it, must in every second be a learning process. This is the fundamental point of what God wanted for the couple. He said: "Out of two beings, I will make one." He means that He will amalgamate these two beings. He made these creatures so that inside them would thrive all that He wants for humanity, for human beings. That is to say, He wishes for this universe (dedicated to man) to exist in total harmony with respect to this couple, which itself cannot be totally perfect unless it practices fidelity. This is not a judgment regarding the value of polygamy, or of the women of India, or of any other caste for that matter, or of matriarchy, which is another way to get around human laws. But I think it's very important to realize this: no human society has been able to reach perfection without fidelity within the couple, because day by day, fidelity teaches us to build ourselves on the values of the other and not to dream.