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Do we really feel that our group is the basis of our transformation?

If we knew what richness we have in a group, we would thank God every day for having given us this work. The territory, the pioneers… that’s our group. It is where we draw all the consciousness of the universe. It is where all the facets of good and evil are offered to us.

We’ve been in a group for a number of years and we think we know each other, at least, that’s how we feel! You arrive at your group and you’ve already labeled all those who are there: “Hey, look who’s here! And she’s here too! But so-and-so isn’t here. Well! He arrives late as usual. And this one will smoke; he can’t help it. And the other one, there, will eat all our cheese again, etc.”

So we have some kind of understanding of the others, but in judgment, not in love. We think we know each other but this is an illusion of the Enemy. The Enemy makes us deviate from our path by allowing us to think we know others… The one who eats the cheese, the one who smokes, the one who arrives late, the one who is never happy, the one who always coughs, the one who grunts, the one who stays apart, the one who never has the best seat or the one who always takes the best seat! We’ve recorded all this with our very selective memory, and we say to ourselves: we know each other. But no! We only know what the other person looks like. We only know what disturbs us. We don’t approach the other’s depth, because we have heard the testimony about his problems ten, twenty, thirty times… His misery, his financial difficulties, everything about his couple or his children. He has already told us this ten, twenty, thirty times, and so we listen to him… Rather, we lend an ear while thinking about something else. We’ve already heard it all so many times!

But do you know that they will repeat their testimony until we really hear, until we really listen to them? And it’s because we don’t love them that they keep repeating the same thing over and over again. That’s why the One-on-One Listenings are so important. If we knew what richness we have in a group, we would thank God every day for having given us this work. The territory, the pioneers… that’s our group. It is where we draw all the consciousness of the universe. It is where all the facets of good and evil are offered to us. And we look at them, once a week. Every once in a while, we look at them and say, “Now, now poor darling! Don’t worry, it’s going to get better! I can give you a little bit to make ends meet...” Is that love? No! This is false charity.

This is what the Churches have taught us, and it is not love! Love is listening to the other, it is going deep within him, it is taking him aside. Love is inviting he who has nothing. It is perhaps inviting him for lunch, offering him a steak or something he doesn’t often eat. And it’s talking to him face to face, yes, he who has told us so many times about his problems, he who bores us stiff and who tires us with having to listen to the same things again and again. But that’s just it: we heard him but we didn’t listen to him. And no human being can transform himself without love. That’s why he repeats himself tirelessly...

We are talking about transformation. Each and every one of us must realize that others have as great a thirst for it as we do. They are tired of carrying their burdens. They are tired of not being recognized. They are tired of being the fifth wheel of the wagon. They are tired of always being looked at suspiciously. But what have we done to make things change? This is the start of understanding each other better.

As I said earlier, this is why One-on-One Listenings are so important, because in this One-on-One, the person will be truly listened to. And we are not there to give advice. We are there to hear him, to listen to him, to love him, to enlighten him. Christ reminds us of this every time: “If you have a lamp, do not put it under a bushel, but put it on the table so that it may illuminate the whole family.” What does this mean? We are fortunate to have had a teaching. So, we are informed, and God wants to tell us, “Don't keep it to yourself! Give to others what you have received, pass it on as a very precious possession.” This is why One-on-One Listenings must be reinvigorating. And we must not see them as burdens, but almost as a necessity, first of all, for us to acquire the humility which we find so difficult to attain, and to get rid of our pride and those appearances of the good life. Every day, the Enemy infiltrates the little shortcomings of each one of us. We see only the faults of others because we are obsessed with the faults of others, and we are obsessed with hiding our own faults from others because we are afraid of being exposed. Our own suffering often lies here.