Obstacles to happiness
Our Fears and Judgment
French l Spanish
What are my greatest fears that I would like to be rid of? Do I manage to discern without judgement?
We must always see the other`s weakness, and because we have noticed his weakness, we will strengthen him through our love and our prayers.
La Sainteté, la Simplicité, Book of IVI from 10 October 1998, track 10. This recording is available for sale in our online boutique
Our fears are pride; it`s incredible! We have a fear of being judged, a fear of doing badly, a fear of doing well, a fear of not having… There are many fears but what brings them about, what creates them? By our pride. Because we have a fear of not being recognised, a fear of being misunderstood, a fear of being unloved, a fear of being unable to love, a fear of not having, a fear of being generous… Fears are constantly being created by our illusions, meaning what? Our mind. Because our mind is at the service of the ego, and the ego is at the service of the Enemy; it`s clear. Only our love is at the service of God; so only our impulses of generosity are love.
All the words that come from our mouth or our thoughts are directed to others, inside love. No matter what deceptive excuses you may find, as soon as you emit a judgment, there no longer is love; it`s clear! It`s up to us to realise that we have a potential to give continuously, since it doesn`t come from us but is given to us. Once we start loving, we can love 10, 20 or 100,000 times more, because every time we will love, we will receive love.
So all the motivation for our fears is created by our pride, and from the moment we enter the phase of pride, we automatically self-destruct. There again: good and evil.
I have mixed up your questions, so that you could see where each thing lies…
I always say: you mustn`t be blind, nor deaf. So we must be able to perceive who is facing us. But just because we perceive him, does not mean that we judge him. We perceive him, that is, we must know that he is capable of such and such reactions, of such and such impulses. But is we love him sufficiently, he will be able to surpass himself. On the other hand, if we judge this person because we have discovered who he was, then at that moment, we label him and the label will make him follow the course that we have laid out for him. Judgments are a complete negation, because judgments permanently trap him in his pain and drag us alongside him. By judging him, we judge ourselves. See the difference.
We must always see the other`s weakness, and because we have noticed his weakness, we will strengthen him through our love and our prayers. If you say: "He is weak", you see his behaviour, how he acted with his children, or at work, you see his weakness, you see him… We will not say: "He is weak" and judge him accordingly. Rather, we will say: " My God, I entrust him to you." You will start to pray and ensure that daily his weakness transforms into strength. And when you will have an occasion to speak to him, he will say: " Yes, but I am weak…" You will say: " No, you are not weak, you are strong." So you see, you will thwart the judgments that you might otherwise have made, and you will make him grow. Automatically, a weak person becomes strong. But he can only become strong through your love.
This is why judgments are dangerous: we cut the other person from any possibility of growth. In fact, we place him in a system; he is prisoner since we put a label on the door. "Weak", for example, but I could have taken any kind of judgment. So most importantly, as soon as you feel a judgment come to your lips, or your thoughts, or your eyes, be sure to straightaway transform your thoughts into positive ones, and immediately pray for the person, because a judgment has touched you. It is simple!
When you understand that God loves you very much, each and every one of you, you will no longer have to fight to know where your privileges are. You do not yet have that absolute certain feeling that God loves you because if you had, there would no longer be any problem.
When there are problems between people, it is that you really cannot love the other because you do not feel completely loved yourself. And it is true that if God didn't love us, we would be unable to love because He gives us Love. He is life, He is love; and love is creative, so it is because He loves us that, firstly, He created us, and then it is because He loves us that we can love; it is because He loves us that we have the strength to tolerate, to be patient. Love allows us to abolish all that restrains us. Love allows us to eliminate everything that was not on the divine axis.
When you are alone with yourself, within yourself, you understand that God is within you. We have but a few moments each day of enlightenment, a few seconds of this life. We must realize that our actions are not as nice as we may think because they are tainted with nebulous thoughts - and I say nebulous in order not to say negative - because we judge constantly. We say we do not judge but that is wrong, we do judge.
And then we lie, we lie to ourselves, and I would really like to awaken your consciousness as to what is meant by 'lying to oneself '. I have often spoken about it already: it is a lie against the Spirit; it is truly a sin against the Spirit. And I think we really have to work on this. We need to know how to be frank and clear in our thinking. Not to keep a close watch on what we are saying, because it is by then often too late. It has come out and we caused hurt.
You who have done One-on-One Listenings, you understand that when receiving a Listening from the other - that is to say that the other person speaks and you listen -it is rare that you can judge. Why is this? It is tempting, I know, you are all tempted and you do it at first: thoughts jostle around inside because you listen and your attitude is already stiffened before the other because he is talking nonsense. You know very well that this is not what we should do or say. And as you gradually advance, as you listen and pray, you become aware how much his soul is suffering and that this suffering makes him say and do all that. At this point, compassion takes hold of you – this is the 2nd stage - and this compassion will remove all the grievances you may have against him. The Listening becomes divine because any suspicion, any doubt, any bittersweet words move aside, and leave place for nothing but listening, loving the other, trying to love the other, trying to build the other. The other person is unable to understand what you understand. When you understand what a Listening is, you understand how far we are from it in our daily lives. Just talking behind closed doors with someone can lead you to realize that you are already demolishing the person harmonized just moments ago, you know it is so...